Christman blues............Pain and decision making

As Christmas is not long away, I feel compelled to express my feeling about the whole thing. I fear as many would say, Christmas season has lost its real meaning and value as years go by. This very special period has been turned into yet another money making scheme, peer pressure amongst individuals and a time to simply overindulge, overspend, and peer pressure especially amongst youngsters. It's no longer considered a family time but a time for comparing presents and spending, funny though... I always feel like Christmas always ends on the Christmas morning after everyone opens their pressents...... and then the spirit of Christmas simply dies out. Then comes either happiness or resentments.
One never knows exactly what to do that is right or wrong, rarely most people get what they wished or expected. This in itself is a very stressing time for husbands, wives, siblings and of course parents especially......, and as if that was not enough, lenders are taking this season to both pressurising people into taking out more loans, and for those who are already owing...., they have being systematically intimidated or taunted to the point of personally and mentally breaking down.

Just today I bumped into a friend of mine who did not know what to do about the handling of the Xmass celebrations ... or not!!! and she was besides herself... to say the least...... on one hand she owes money which is due before X-mass, on the other she has to buy presents for family members whose birthdays lands on the X-mass season , to make matter's worse.... it seems all her utility bills have arrived at almost the same time... (in red!!!!!!), in which case she has to make the most difficult decision.... she most definitely needs gas, water and electricity, that's for sure,.... she also needs food for the family.... (definitely).... and the loan company wants their money before the 23/12/09!!!!!!!! or she faces bailiffs at the door...possibly on X-mass day... and of course "court action" to top it all.... Santa better come with something!!!!! or the family will be hitting the roof!!!! (especially the youngsters.) So my dear friends, tell me what advise I should have given to this friend of mine???? I stood there in a confused state, because the more I tried to analyse her situation the harder it was for me to give a definitive response. I was not sure nor did I know what exactly I could say to her that would be right or wrong, I did not want to risk the so and so advised me so.......situation.... So, This is for everyone out there, if you have any thoughts on the idea please feel free to leave some comments, for I am sure there is more than one individual out there facing this kind of situation may be similar or less, especially during this financial climate. WISHING YOU ALL HAPPY HOLIDAYS ENJOY YOUR TIME TOGETHER AS FRIENDS OR FAMILIES OR EVEN COMMUNITIES, AND WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO DO, PLEASE DO MAKE SURE YOU DO
NOT GO BEYOND YOUR MEANS....... IT CATCHES UP WITH YOU EVENTUALLY.... STAY BLESSED AND MAY THE ALMIGHTY GOD GUIDE AND WATCH OVER YOU ALL...

Close to your heart.

Today I went to see my hairdresser, as usual hairdressers are like the substitute of the the therapist, once in the hairdresser's chair is like something compelled you to speak and pour your heart out, and of course you get to hear a lot more from every tom dick and harry that is there. The two or so hours I spent there got me thinking. Funnily enough there was a programme about marital bliss and the question about the vow that is recited on the wedding day..... funny aha aha, I really did enjoy the programme, because the debate was really good.... it included a so called happily married man for 21 years, who twitched throughout the programme and looked like a soaked lamb, but I really did enjoy his views and testimonies, be it false or well orchestrated, he did a good job being the only man amongst four ladies in the studio, and of course in front of the cameras, I found his views convincing at times, but was not sure whether they came from the heart or they were for the benefit of the camera, there was also a radio presenter who is happily single and in her early 5OS, who made it clear that she was not against marriages, especially honestly happy ones, but she clealy stated that she does not support marriages that put up the front for the sake of the social class and suffer in silence, but would whole support a marriage that is honest, compatible and loving, a spinster who has been married twice happily single and has now decided she just need a companion to see her through her old age if needed, and was candid about her past experiences with men and was happy to discuss her feelings about false pretence in the relationships and indeed marriages, and of course the presenter of the programme who has never been married who voiced her opinions on the issue as well as she could. The topic of the programme was the recital of the marriage vows......( for better or worse, til death do us part.....) should they be universal or should people be allowed to make up their own vows???? also do people really know what they are committing to when they say I DO?????? Do they really understand the gravity of the statement in question? Do people get and stay married for the sake of "social class, approval? or simply because is customary??? I tell you it was interesting I only wished I could have recorded it. But I felt compelled to share this with everyone that would feel obliged to look at my blog. And would really appreciate if someone would comment on this and give their views on this matter. I wish everyone a happy holidays and please do comment and express your views on the issue. Bless you all, With Love
LUCIA

Christman blues............

It's already the 3rd of the December, funny I thought just yesterday was summer, my little girl is now virtually a teenager..... a little worrying for me, I am honestly not looking forward to that.... Not that I do not want her to grow up, but I am a little worried about everything that is going on in the world... I just wish I could put my little baby in the coccoon and protect her from all the madness of the world, my son is now at University and by all standards a grown man, but I still can not get their childhood images off my head. The older they get the more they become more distant, unpredictable and quiet frankly the more expensive they become.... one can no longer buy just any barbie doll or an action man figure, everything they wish to have is not less than £70.00, now does every parent feel that X-mass is now becoming more commercial than a festive season??????????? I do wish to have a fantastic festive session, but I do feel that I might not be able to meet the standards that our today's children demand. I can just about remember when we use to share clothes and toys between siblings, but that is no longer the case. If I go and buy anything on the cheap thinking it would do the job, it ends up on the bottom of the wardrobe, and probably never be used, so in essense I have just wasted my money...., times are changing rapidly, and I am afraid is not for the best of everyone, even for the well off and people with old money...., but everyone is indeed feeling the pinch. One thing for sure is I do intend to have a fantastic X-mass, because December is one month that I can not easily forget, my first child was born in it........... to make it even more significant to myself is that it was on the night before NEW YEAR'S EVE...... now how do you forget that???? I just wish to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very merry X-mass, just in case I get so caught up on all this X-mass mayhem. Enjoy yourselves and Bless you all. PEACE TO THE WORLD.

Compassion, patience and empathy.

Just today I was thinking about the late Michael Jackson......... God bless his soul, I grew up at the time when Michael Jackson was on the rise, I even named my child after his family name....... With all the controversy that followed him and his family for so long, This would have made anyone to question their royalty towards him as an artist. But as I got to listen to his old album today, I got to realize that Michael Jackson was truly a very special individual whose imagination travelled further than his time, which brings me to the point where I agree with the term that "Great people do no live long in this world". I do believe that in the years to come people would look back and realize just how special this man was, and how his music had touched many people, and that it had more sense than just sounds of music. Look at the songs like ... heal the world.... when one listens to this songs you get to understand what exactly he meant..... today we are surrounded by paedophiles, murderers, bullies and the list goes on, but no one bothers to see that, because we are all too obsessed in finding the bigger picture..... how do you find the bigger picture without finding the small one first???????????? and how do you find a solution without finding the root of the problem???????????. Can someone please respond to this and let me have their thoughts??? Thanks...

Love

Today, I would like to share with you the word "LOVE", Love is of different definitions depending on how and where it is applied. How does one realize that they are in Love? better yet, how does the other party realize how deeply you are in love with them????, As I said before, there are different types of love, there is a parent love, a sibling love and of course the romantic love..... what I am talking about today is of course the romantic love, I have no doubt about the love I have for my children, siblings and of course family.
But the one that I am a little puzzled by, is of course the romantic love, now although I am a mother of two, I must admit that I am a little rusty when it comes to relationships, I feel I put too much into it..... and do not fully grasp the true interpretation of LOVE, or could it be that may be it is because I really have not had that much experience in the field?? or is it because I am a little naive and trying too hard to please the other party???? either way I really need some guidance on how to handle the feelings that one experiences when they fall head over heels towards the significant other. My friends have asked me about this question, but quiet frankly I do not have a definitive answer to give them, so please your contribution on this issue would be very much appreciated. Thank you and bless you.

NYERERE DAY EVENT

On this photo, our honourable the Tanzania Ambassador to the United Kingdom addressing the congregation at Edinburgh University on Nyerere Day, Commemorating 10th anniversary since he passed away.

The Parenting puzzle

As a parent myself, I find that I ask myself the same question over and over again, "Am I good enough? Could I have done things differently? but the truth of the matter is no one can ever get it right all the time, because I do believe that parenting is an ongoing process that has no ceiling, and I also honestly believe that with practice and a room for error is the only way that you can truly feel comfortable about your parenting style. We are all individuals and we also have different values and beliefs, depending on how you choose to raise your children I do believe it should be a style that suites both you and the family. I believe that whichever parenting style you choose, should not only be there to suite your needs but for the benefit of the family, because if it could have a detrimental effect on the family if you appear to be dictatorial or selfish. As a parent I also do believe that it is not wrong to praise a child every now and then, guiding a child on a right path is better than criticising, also taking sides between children could cause resentment feeling between siblings and indeed the family.

Children are very good at picking up on things than we parents realize, if they sense that you are always criticising they tend to become defiant and sometimes frustrated, but if you guide them, even if they have done something wrong they are more likely to listen and co-operate with you. So my thought for the day is "Guide instead of Criticising, Listen instead of judging, share ideas instead of dictating, because by doing that they feel valued and it encourages co-operation.

A time to let go, the question of "FAITH"

How do you know when it's time to let go? most of the time one runs out of answers and prays for a miracle. We all need angels to guide us through life, in good and bad times, so for today my prayer is for the good Lord to guide and give me the courage to get on with life with resilience and optimism. I pray that my FAITH in GOD remains intact because I know that GOD has a purpose for me in the world, and that my attitude towards life reflect and affects all those close to me and to each and every individual I come across through this journey of life.

Family Matters

Today I woke up thinking about "FAMILY" and the real meaning of it, I have always been a firm believer of being close to your family, but my main question here is; what really makes a family? can someone please explain this to me? because I am a little unsure of the concept, thougout my life I have found myself bonding with people who were not my family, and they have in a sense helped me along the way and made me appreciate life, these very same people I was proud to call family, and we have developed the bond that I can never call them nothing less of a family. So my question today is for someone to please elaborate the meaning of the word "FAMILY". Thank you for taking time out to discuss this with me.

A day out with my daughter

Today I had a wonderful day out with my daughter, she was very excited about her new account that I opened for her, one that she can use the debit card with, she had a million dollar smile on her face.......... it made me want to cry, I felt so happy and suddenly I remembered my own childhood, and I just wished for a minute that I could have had someone to bond with me as much as I bond with my child. After that we went shopping, and she was all over the stores going crazy with all the craziest items.......... I just laughed quietly........ I felt so blessed and happy, my feet were killing me.... but what the heck.... it's one day that i would not trade for anything under this face of the hearth and that is for sure. We came back home and threw our bags on the sofa, we could not even wait to go upstairs in our room, but tried our items right there in the living room!!!!!!!!!!! weird I say, but I just said to myself, soon she will be a grown up and I might not be able to have these moments again. I believe in cherishing the moments, because once the day is gone, it can not be gained back, so I am going to take each day as it comes and make the most of it for tomorrow is another day!!!!!!!. So guys please make the most of each and every moment that you get to spend with your loved ones. Keep smilling and the world will smile back at you.

How to find inner peace

Through my life experiences I have had to overcome a lot of pain. But the only thing that kept me going was to be thankful that I had lived to see another day and was very hopeful that the next day would be better than the previous one.